Monday, February 13, 2017


Wow...guess it is true what they say about, 'what goes online stays online.' Last post was written four years ago, I don't even have what it takes to scroll though the past posts ;'D

Let me assure you, many things have changed in four year. My profession, my religion, my sexual orientation, my weight damn it and my priority. Heck, even my name if I could. For a short while there I was really active in FB in terms of sharing my thoughts and feeling. I wore my heart on my sleeves on FB. Perhaps I have aged, or perhaps I'm sick of keyboard warriors that I began to look for alternatives to vent. So, I'm back X'D probably just for a while.

Let's see. Let's start by updating that I no longer practicing as a nurse, yes this is a great disappointment to my family and friends. It is like a demotion in the society. Furthermore I venture into my own business, costume designing and working closely with the cosplay community. Fantastic combination. People around me still think I've thrown my life away, wasted my years of education and a completely idiot for not earning SGD anymore but scrapping for crumbs back in this devastating country. True to certain extend but I do not want to explain my depression episode while I was practicing again. So, let's just say I'm doing what I like now and surviving. Nothing prestigious, no title to my name, no properties under my name yet as well but I'm alive and that is good ;)

Secondly, I am no longer a Christian nor a believer or any religion. Actually I think I left the entire faith thing even before I go Singapore. Don't get me wrong, I have no problems with religion or religious people. You may practice what you believe but I will appreciate it if they don't condemn me or try to convert me. If people are honest enough to explore that things being taught in that book written aeons ago with no actual legit reference, they will see so many unconvincing stuff inside that has been covered up with, ýou just gotta have faith!'Áfter I'm openly a theist, a 20yrs friendship ended. Clap clap clap* I don't blame her, it is her job to convert people after all. Some of the stuff you can check out if you dare will be friendly atheist' and 'darkmatter2525'. I do not target Christianity specifically, take my mom for eg. she is throwing her life away with practicing all her chinese voodoo she learn from youtube buddha so that she can go to her chinese heaven. Okcan. Not to mention every fucking thing is haram in Malaysia now even the Arabians are confused.

In terms of priority, I am paying my bills and putting food on the table and two kitty bowls. I still cosplay but not as much, mainly Western stuff. I am not as involved in the community, attending less than five events a year. Hmm...maybe only three, itu pun sebab kerja. One thing doesn't change though, I still love cats. And food. Oh, I wanna keep an owl and an otter >o<

Last but not least, I am openly bisexual. I am attracted to both men and women but still not in the sexual way so I'm probably still asexual in away. I'm still not very comfortable with physical shit I really don't know how people can date twice and a week later start making out in public, hands all over each other 24-7, sniffing the shit out of each other. It was a long journey but I am grateful for my sexual orientation revelation. I was told to keep it low because it will affect my reputation and my business. I don't know how does being bisexual affects my work? Regardless male or female costumes, I still put equal heart into them ma. Also, I still prefer cats than human ahahhahaha...

In terms of personality, I'm much more louder than I used to be. I cursed openly left right up down center. Life is stressful enough, I don't want to keep everything bottled up. After two episodes of depression break down, I felt as though I've died and return. Too much time has been wasted, it's about time to start living freely and nor pretending to be someone I am not.

Seeing how it is Valentine today, I shall share a heart shattering yet an important lesson I've learned last year for falling into a player chick. Stay tune aiks, it is entertaining as hell.


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Where Do I Begin

One of my favourite pose but I have cos nothing so far that justify that pose =.="

I kind of forgotten why I started blogging in the first place =.=" maybe because back then there wasn't facebook, only Friendster. Therefore, I wasn't able to express much. I am so lazy to write these days. Let's see, a little update on my side. 

Recently went to SG for a short vacation cum photoshoot. The shoot was initiated by Thomas who introduced me to Yong Shen, a photog from SG. Yong Sheng arranged the shoot thereafter with Shaun, Rein, Speed and Edmund. One day 1 we covered Dead Master and Day 2, Astaroshe. 

This is how I look like when not cosplaying - amma 9000.

Went down the trip with YuLi, my primary school friend who still keep in touch till today. Thanks for keeping me company!

The night before driving down to SG at 5am, I had supper with a friend till 1230am. Slept at 2am for don't know what reason and woke up at 430am. Drove 120kmh down SG for 5hrs straight just to get into UNIVERSAL STUDIO at 1100am. Hamagawd...I love Universal Studio. I fell in love with Transformer ride. I mean...Optimus Prime spoke to us and BumbleBee caught us from crashing to the ground. How cool is that!! We queue for it 4 times before the lady at the front told us they were closing early for Halloween. Eish...could have ridden another say...4 times!

Sunday, June 23, 2013


Pfftt...and I was supposed to blog more frequent =.=" and be more blunt. Then again, it's difficult to be blunt without being offensive. Let's see. Work has been hectic with last minute orders and changes of deadline. Like is also stressful with a menopausal woman so important to you yet very demotivating at the same time. That aside, I picked up reading again (an average of 2 pages a day) and swimming on my day off! 
Make Up
Break Up

Met many people for the past few months so I gather this topic of relationship is interesting. For the past 6 months I've been reading a lot on relationship with titles vary from 'Does He Still Love You', 'Can The Relationship Be Saved', 'How To Save A Relationship', 'Is This Love Still Worth It' to 'How To Move On' and 'How To Survive A Mean Break Up'. Recently I read up on types of relationship, positive energy, making friends and what interest me the most at the moment: THE ULTIMATE FRIENDZONE.

So yes, it's the infamous term people around has been using. After doing some readings, this is what i gathered:
1. Everybody had been friendzoned by someone before i.e rejected from persuasion.
2. Everybody friendzoned someone before i.e rejected persuasion. 
3. Because of no.1 and no.2, don't get too bitter and learn to move on quickly. 
4. Friendzone could be peaceful or hateful.
Hateful Friendzone: This happened when one felt used or mislead with mixed signal for over a period of time which involved him or her to sacrifice to certain degree. OR him or her is just being a pussy. Personal experience, I've explained countless time to this friend of mine that we are better off as friend because I cannot tolerate his personality as a boyfriend and neither can he take my temper. We are both hot headed. We maintained good friends for over 2 years but with constant more persuasion. Finally he got fed up, unfriend me and delete me from his life forever. My reaction? But I oredi tell you waaaat! Waiiy u angry me? I no lie you and no give false hope also. Some tips on how to avoid? Don't give false hope or blardy mixed signal and come on, be blunt a little bit. If you like someone, keep check if he or she knows it instead of going all the way to the moon then fall in disappointment. 

 Peaceful Friendzone: mutual understanding achieved. Like I said, be frank if you need to find out what's really going on but be prepared for a yes or no. Express your interest without going over the moon really. Treating someone extraordinarily nice meaning treating him or her special without going overboard so you wont get burnt out thinking that whatever you have done got zero return. Once the zone has been declared, maintain the respectable line. Don't be a friend yet trying to do what a girlfriend or boyfriend would do. AND, don't ask your friend to do what a boyfriend or girlfriend ought to do. Be fair to them. This thing takes effort from both side, requiring in depth communication.

For men and women alike. Acceptance of the condition is the first step of moving on.
And yeah, something to end the night. 
Last but not least, don't USE people to your benefits. Yes, this dude or chick may like you but if you sensed their affection that you cannot return, let them know gently. I cannot accept people that take advantage of such situation such as getting them to buy things, doing all the shitty job and all then later drop the bomb. Peace out guys! Seramat mlm.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Turning Over A New Leaf

I wasn't sure if I wanted to start a new blog or to continue with this one. I read the posts I've written for the past 2 years. They were all so superficial, so much sugar coating I wasn't sure who was writing them -_- I guess I was more honest a few years ago. Oh well, I think I'll probably revert to my high school writing style: JUST SAY IT. 

I revamped the site with colours. I needed the change, I've been too...structured. It has been an awful 2012 and awful first few months of my 2013. I was so depressed that I went on treatment for two months. I was told that I needed high level of serotonin to function. The meds kept me going for a while but it also made me drowsy and stoic. So I turn to my old best friend - cheese and chocolate. Dairy products make me happy <3 div="">

"I fucking hate you. Damn you! Shit la you!" 
Three short sentences which changed my life. It hurt real deep and the pain and scar will stay forever. I guess I will not truly move in without coming to term with this incident. I was dumped via a phone call.  For two months I almost died from low self-esteem, I felt ugly, dirty, worthless and useless. Nevertheless, I was not stupid. I reached out for help and slowly, painfully, I recover. I'm still in the process of healing. I've decided to pick up my life where I left it 3 years ago. I opened up a little and tell myself to do what makes me happy, I don't need to please anyone anymore especially people who cannot accept me for who I am.

I'm no longer a pious Christian but occasionally I whisper a prayer for I don't know what. I'm thankful for a few good friends who supported me through the opening of my shop in March till today. I've met many people ever since. Some beautiful people who showed me rainbows in life and yes, i meet arses too. All in all, I still love my current career. Yes, it's a career for me. Not just a day to day job. I may not have a DR/SN/IR or whatever title to my name now but I got goals in life and I want to achieve it.

Right, warming up on first post. Will move on and write more on life stories and hopefully, interesting stories for read. Okay, let's give God a little credit :3

1. Thank God for awesome friend like Ps. Yu Li - hugs!
2. Thank God for boardgames and RPGs on Friday - meet new amazing people!
3. Thank God for the gifts. Yes, all that I can do right, craft, perform, my ideas...I give credit  to Him. He is my muse, no joke. He moves my hands and makes me learn.
4. Thank God for mom. She has been tolerating my shyt a lot yet helped a lot with my work. She is awesome yo when it comes to hairdo.

The world can give up on you but you live on so long you dont give up on yourself. Signing out for tonight, cheers~

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Ever since I have so little time to blog, I began to summarize my writings in the form of FB shoutouts on daily basis. It has been 3 months since I'm out of practice. Surprisingly, I miss practicing but no, I'm not turning back. I hated the environment. It has been exciting and equally frustrating over the past few months. Setting up my own business has been something new and the process is really...eye opening. It shows me the so many ugly sides of human. Friends become frenemies, family ties went sour, some crappy relatives showed disapproval from such a high pay job to a 'toy shop'. Malaysians need more exposure to the word haberdashery. People whom I get in touch with for supply, renovation and import were 98% con man. They bully and cheat because they think I'm just a little girl without a daddy or a buff man by my side. I've raised my voice and quarrel with a few of them. It tires me a lot to have to scream and shout to protect my right. 

Oh yes, do I need to mention that the people at the licensing office were rude and totally unprofessional about their job? In the midst of processing an application, talk about lunch, talk about somebody's husband, gossip about the cleaner's wife. Dilly dally bla bla bla. 

Nevertheless the highlight is definitely our Mr Firefighter who apparently approved my licence and then decided not to approve it and asked me to see him in private so he can write a nice report. Explained to him that the building obtained CF and I've obtained my license AND I don't have the key to the shop yet. But NO, he wants to see the shop NOW NOW NOW I GIB U WAN HOUR, U COME. Called me daily and insisted that I go see him even when I'm in Thailand. He threw a tantrum saying he will never allow me to set up my business because I was rude to him. He told us he can simply pull back our license by saying our shop don't have a back door. Encik Kopi, back door tu I yang buat ke konstuktor yang buat? Kalau tak pass dari awal-awal, CF tu camne dapat? Kalau you tak pass lesen saya, sila gantung lesen semua business kat sini pasal semua kedai takde pintu belakang. I presented facts and he said, 'eh you jangan kasar sama I'. The shyt they always say when they have nothing else to say in the face of truth.
Asides from the negative experience. Meet some new people, supportive people. I learned many things too. The elderly told me that I need to bend my principles in business. Most of the time we have to smile and close one eye. I do take my work seriously, always have been. But I'll never bend to make allowance for manipulative people to take advantages from me or my family. If I kena saman, I pay. If I have done nothing wrong, please don't come ask money from me because you are wearing some gawd damn uniform. This place is corrupted enough. It's a tough start and I foresee more of those nonsense people to come but hey, I've made my choice and I'll stick to it. I have been doing things I dislike all along. Time to do something I truly love. So yup, look forward to the launching end of this month~

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Costurera Haberdashery!

It's finally up. A month of travelling to collect goods, snap pictures, upload, snap pictures, upload, import some more stuff and whoala! Costurera Haberdashery is up! The idea behind this whole costurera thing is to provide custom make costumes, accessories and props for various occasion including cosplay. Asides that, I intend to sell nice and some rare items for art craft. It is not only cater for my fellow cosplayers but also for those who love making accessories and other art crafts. 

They are all ready stocks, available via delivery (1-3 working days) or COD at Mid Valley. The advantages of buying ready stocks is that you will get what you see. There won't be the hassle of delayed shipping, wrong size/colour/model from delivery errors ;)

The items we have at the moment:

PVC leathers:

Rubber Foams:



Cosplay Wigs:

Ribbons and Lace:




Pendants and ornament pieces:

Official page for the haberdashery:

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Starting ANeW.

Well...abandoned this blog for about 3 months now. 2012 coming to an end, 2013 approaching and...another year older =.=" I had a bad year. I left Msia beginning of this year hoping to find a new life, an adult life with much freedom AND responsibility. Leaving home wasn't tough. Surviving it was the killer. Ain't gonna dwell into the details but as a conclusion, I had a really bad year with very little emotional support. 

Anyway, I've already left whatever sad stuff that I needed to leave behind and plan for the hopefully, better days to come. I'll be opening my own haberdashery, offering materials, wigs, props and costume sewing services not only to cosplayers but also to craft enthusiasts :) I know it ain't gonna be as much as me working in SG but hey, it's time to do something I like for a change. Watched a video that made me cry. Some said it's stupid, some said 'you're brave' and some, 'you can because you are young'. I can because I have few but supportive people back here that believe in me <3 all="all" be="be" contained="contained" cosplay="cosplay" emo="emo" ersonal="ersonal" here="here" i="i" ll="ll" meanwhile="meanwhile" much="much" nbsp="nbsp" non-cosplay="non-cosplay" p="p" page="page" shifting="shifting" stuff=".=" the="the" too="too"> Feel free to leave a message if you have any materials to request ;) cheers~