My Loss

I guess it's only when you truly lost something that you feel the pain. At the verge of losing it, my heart ached like a million needles poked through it. It has been eight years Snowy shared the same room with me. He would cuddle into a furball and lodge himself at a corner of my bed at night. We shared the same appetite on chicken essence, strawberry yogurt and herbal eggs.

It is so painful to reflect on the loss because I keep flashing back the time we had together. He used to be so snobbish, not liking people to touch him. He got all upset and growled whenever we tried to hug him. Then I bashed him terul-teruk (hug tight tight whenever I can) until he raised white flag. I used to kacau him until he beh tahan and surrender. Naturally, we got closer and he kacau balik by sleeping on my notes. He would roll on my black shirt to turn them white by morning.

Love. I really loved him. A cat he is but he is as close as a family member. I cried on him and drowned him with my tears at times. He witnessed me cursing people in my room. He listened to my out-of-tune singing and went through hell when I just started on my guitar. Sigh...I prayed he would live but he did not.

It's all so sad but all I want now is to reflect on the good memories we had and appreciate what we had gone through. I miss hugging him to sleep. I miss calling his name and see him walking towards me lazily. I miss you, Snowy. Very much. You have the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. They reflected so much spirit in them right up to the last moment. Hope to see you again someday, somewhere.

Dear all, appreciate what you have at the moment. Really. Until it's gone, it's too late.