Monday, June 3, 2013

Turning Over A New Leaf

I wasn't sure if I wanted to start a new blog or to continue with this one. I read the posts I've written for the past 2 years. They were all so superficial, so much sugar coating I wasn't sure who was writing them -_- I guess I was more honest a few years ago. Oh well, I think I'll probably revert to my high school writing style: JUST SAY IT. 

I revamped the site with colours. I needed the change, I've been too...structured. It has been an awful 2012 and awful first few months of my 2013. I was so depressed that I went on treatment for two months. I was told that I needed high level of serotonin to function. The meds kept me going for a while but it also made me drowsy and stoic. So I turn to my old best friend - cheese and chocolate. Dairy products make me happy <3 div="">

"I fucking hate you. Damn you! Shit la you!" 
Three short sentences which changed my life. It hurt real deep and the pain and scar will stay forever. I guess I will not truly move in without coming to term with this incident. I was dumped via a phone call.  For two months I almost died from low self-esteem, I felt ugly, dirty, worthless and useless. Nevertheless, I was not stupid. I reached out for help and slowly, painfully, I recover. I'm still in the process of healing. I've decided to pick up my life where I left it 3 years ago. I opened up a little and tell myself to do what makes me happy, I don't need to please anyone anymore especially people who cannot accept me for who I am.

I'm no longer a pious Christian but occasionally I whisper a prayer for I don't know what. I'm thankful for a few good friends who supported me through the opening of my shop in March till today. I've met many people ever since. Some beautiful people who showed me rainbows in life and yes, i meet arses too. All in all, I still love my current career. Yes, it's a career for me. Not just a day to day job. I may not have a DR/SN/IR or whatever title to my name now but I got goals in life and I want to achieve it.

Right, warming up on first post. Will move on and write more on life stories and hopefully, interesting stories for read. Okay, let's give God a little credit :3

1. Thank God for awesome friend like Ps. Yu Li - hugs!
2. Thank God for boardgames and RPGs on Friday - meet new amazing people!
3. Thank God for the gifts. Yes, all that I can do right now...sew, craft, perform, my ideas...I give credit  to Him. He is my muse, no joke. He moves my hands and makes me learn.
4. Thank God for mom. She has been tolerating my shyt a lot yet helped a lot with my work. She is awesome yo when it comes to hairdo.

The world can give up on you but you live on so long you dont give up on yourself. Signing out for tonight, cheers~

1 comment:

Yu Li said...

Awww :)
I thank God for you too!

you are always in my thoughts and prayers! *hugs*